My Life Is Going To The Birds

I witnessed a murder today

It happened on my land

Bodies strewed across the yard

As if tossed by an uncaring hand

Cold glassy eyes stared up at me

As if accusing of some felonious deed

I looked up for help and for absolution

But I did not find what I need

I saw judgement sitting there

Wise eyes uncaring and bright

Indifferent to my soul’s request

To once more see the light

Suddenly a cacophony broke the silence

I turned toward the sound

When I turned back, I was surprised

There was nothing on the ground.

Had I imagined this whole scene

Did my mind play tricks on me?

Or had the bodies flown away

Cawing loudly with their glee?

TO ERIC ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT DAY

When we first met I did not know you

I called out your last name.

You smiled and answered quickly

much to your acclaim.

As I have come to know you

as the person my daughter needs

to make her happy every day and

applaud all her good deeds.

I know that you will treat her well

And love her with all your heart.

I see it in your eyes each time

you move an inch apart.

I applaud her choice in husband and

in future father too.

I pray for the best for both of you,

and I’m glad she has you to cling to.

Suicide Letter

I reached out for help, but no one answered

No one took my call

I reached for comfort, and for joy

But I slammed into a wall.

I tried again, five times, I tried.

Five times I was turned away.

It hurt too much to try again.

So I turned to God to pray.

I pray for strength to get me through

This night of bitter lows.

But I feel so hollow deep inside

Like even He won’t hear my woes.

I cry in sorrow and in pain.

I feel like such a loser.

Tears pour down my face

As I see my own accuser.

It is myself who convicts me most.

It is I who condemns.

It is the endless voyage I take.

From which depression stems.

I see the shore of happiness.

I try to swim toward safety

But, I soon drown in a sea of hate

For self and prosperity

My arms are tired, my legs are weak

My throat is filled with salt.

I struggle less and less each moment

However, it’s not your fault.

As I was sinking below the waves

I did not cry out your name

I simply whispered “Goodbye, world”

And let depression extinguish my flame.

To Felipe, Love Mom

You came too soon the doctors said

But I know you came just in time

My little light within my world

My reason to sing and rhyme

I dressed you all in blue at first

In those tiny little clothes

Now you wear Tide red the most

And those tiny socks can’t fit your toes.

Soon you will leave me, this I know

And I know it’s for the best

Just remember you’ll carry a piece of my heart with you

When you fly from this nest.

To Leza, Love Mom

As a child you were like a bumbling bee,

Always buzzing from place to place.

I couldn’t keep up with your tumbling glee,

However, I did always give chase.

As a teen, you were angry with us.

We were keeping you behind.

“How can you treat me thus?”

You asked, as if I was out of my mind.

We had some growing up to do,

I’m talking about both sides now.

Today, we have learned what we never knew

And I am making this fervent vow

I am proud of the woman you are becoming.

Prouder still of who you are today.

The Bee became a flower blossoming,

And I love you more than I can convey.

To Ashlynd On Her Wedding Day

Your beautiful face always smiling.

Your laughter that tickles my ear.

Your kind heart that is open to everyone,

Or at least to all you hold dear.

Your wide eyes that look on in admiration

As he approaches you in a room,

Are just a confirmation

That he is your chosen groom.

Your petite hand holds his heart

As you are now holding his hand.

I pray that you never part

I believe this is what God has planned.

Today you become his wife

And I couldn’t be happier, you see

My son told me you are perfect for his life

And, daughter, I completely agree.

How to Help Others

My concern for you is great, dear
I know you need me now
To support and bring you cheer
It was part of my sacred vow

But I’ve not been very well lately
And can hardly smile myself
So how can I bring you glee
When my happiness sits on a shelf

I reach up high to get it
I cannot reach high enough
Because I stand in the depression pit
And life has become very tough

I turn to the One who can help us
The only One we need
We call on Him when we’re anxious
Because for us He did bleed

He restores my happiness to me
And plenty for me to share
Through Him I can find beauty
His love is beyond compare

This advice to you I endow, I hope is brightens your day
When the world has got you on your knees, you’re in the position to pray

THE SECRET TO LIFE

I found the secret to life
Or at least the secret to mine
To live without stricture and strife
By putting my words into rhyme

The peace I find in a verse
The joy I find in a couplet
Brings comfort to my universe
A relief I no longer covet

To shape and mold the words
Into a poem I can sing with my heart
Sends my soul to fly with the birds
Because I am filling my world with art

Each word painting I create of my own
Fills me with pride and makes me smile
As my skills I sharpen and hone
I am an admitted lexophile

Today I am contented and happy
Because at last I have found my passion
Like a gown so recently sewn
By the Master in the grandest fashion

SANCTUARY

I open the doors to Your home
I find peace love and tranquility
From Your embrace I never will roam
You provide my life with stability

You comfort me in my dreams
I cling to your promise of Life
Of pain ended by the One who redeems
Of a time without any strife

I kneel in Your presence and pray
For the sick the lonely and the lost
Praying one day I can say
Dear Lord I am worth the cost

My soul is reborn unto You
I am refreshed and full with Your love
Through belief I am made new
This depression I’ve risen above

Through You I know I am deserving
Your Word is faithful and true
I found sanctuary in You unswerving
Though my path strayed a time or two

Your Home is my refuge from sadness
It is always close to me now
You live in my heart and bring gladness
And I pray others will find You somehow

Pain

It comes on like a storm without warning
Like lightning it strikes me  down, blind
Sound pierces my ears until morning
I feel like I’m losing my mind

I curl up in a ball to protect me
Silence is my only good friend
Light hurts though I can’t see
I pray to God for an end

Pills taken despite the scorning
Words and looks ignored in kind
To my closet I creep unadorning
Myself as I strip things that bind

Peace granted as mind is set free
In the spot just around the bend
I hope that I’m just let be
To recover and let me mend